Self Regulation

Today after class I was really intrigued about our conversation about self-regulation and kids today. I discussed it with a number of people, including my dad who I thought had the best take on it. After I told him about the things we talked about, he had two points:

1. My dad is sixty, meaning he grew up in the 1950's. I told him how time is so structured, especially in the summers, when kids go to camp during the day instead of playing outside. One fundamental part of his childhood summers was baseball. He didn't play on a team, but rather played daily pick-up games with kids his age. The first skill the kids had to learn was team building. He played three games a day, and every team was different because they picked new teams every game. Decision making is a crucial skill that kids today probably lack. Watching TV or playing a computer game does not require a level of decision making that picking a baseball team does. The second aspect of the game was negotiation. Since there were no coaches or umpires, all decisions had to be made by the players. Was he safe or was he out? My dad would have to negotiate with the other team. It was a give and take game. Sometimes the teams had to negotiate and make deals with each other. When kids watch TV, they are not getting any interaction or social skills, essentially crippling them for life.

2. The second point my dad brought up was mobility. When he was growing up, he biked everywhere. When he went out with his friends, they would bike two towns over. His mom never asked where he was going or what he was doing. Being outside was good, not dangerous. He had freedom at age 10 that I still don't have. My mom would never let me just leave with no explanation or with no cell phone. I think the times have severely changed for the worse. Our fear is getting to the best of us, and we see the consequences in today's kids with self-regulation.

Glass Ceiling?

What does the term "glass ceiling" mean? I know I've heard it several times on the news or in everyday life. Although I've heard it several times, I have never heard it referred to anything except women. When I think of the phrase, I think of it in terms of salary, and women working the same job as a man but not receiving equal compensation. I ran it through dictionary.com and this is what I got:


glass ceiling
–noun
an upper limit to professional advancement, esp. as imposed upon women, that is not readily perceived or openly acknowledged.
[Origin: 1985–90]


This definition states just what I thought it would. But what I found interesting was the origin. It says "1985-1990" From what we learned in class we know that women didn't have a place in the workplace until at least the 1960's. And even then they worked "feminine" jobs such as secretarial work, teachers, social workers, and nurses. It took a while before women started working jobs equal to men. When they finally did, the phrase "glass ceiling" was coined between 1985-1990.

My mom worked before I was born in August of 1991. She worked up until the week she had me, and went back to work after three months. I'm probably bias, but I think this is a very short time to spend with your newborn. Work should not dominate over a child. But this is another reason why women are looked down upon in the workplace: Women bear the children.

I think that even though as a society we have come a long way, there is still a long way to come. We should be celebrating the fact that woman can have a family and a job, not putting extra stress on the women. Even though the law requires it, women are still not paid as equally as men. In a perfect world, men and woman would be equal. But I think for now we should try and shatter the glass ceiling.

Children and Happiness...Guaranteed or Impossible?

When I was cleaning out my room yesterday I came across an old article I printed out from CBS. It's titled What Makes Young People Happy? Happiness and the mind has always been a fascinating topic for me. This very closely relates to the myths of childhood we discussed in Huck's Raft. Just a background on the survey, it was conducted by the Associated Press and MTV. They interviewed 1280 people ages 13-24, asking them over 100 questions.

The article talks about the typical things parents expect bring kids happiness: sex, drugs, rock n roll, and money. But I think that is stereotypical. These parents were once kids, and they should remember what it was like. I've never heard of a girl being upset, finding a wad of cash, and it making her happy. This study shows what makes young adults really happy, and those things are almost identical to what I would imagine make adults happy. Things like family, love and marriage, religion, and safety are all factors in happiness.

Family

73% said their relationship with their parents makes them happy. On a typical day I might fight with my mom about something little, but for the most part my parents are my stability. According to the second childhood myth, the home is the haven and bastion of stability. But the truth is that many children live in broken homes. 64% of kids say they wake up happy, with only 47% who have divorced parents. We may or may not be our parents possessions, but they control our lives and apparently our happines.

Stress
One thing I personally believe in is that a childhood is anything but carefree. "Young people in this survey had a 10 percent higher stress rate than adults did in a 2006 Ap-Ipsos poll." This knocks out Stephen Mintz's childhood myth number one. I think children stress differently than adults. They may internalize it, and carry burdens that parents should be carrying. When a family is put under stress by something like money or sickness, the child receives just as much burden as all the other family members. Adults may have already paved a path for themselves, but kids are still making up their minds about major decesions in life.

Teenage Rebellion

"Alcohol users are slightly less happy than those who don't drink. The differences are more remarkable among 13-17 year olds; just 40 percent of those who drank in the last seven days reported being happy with life, versus 68 percent of those who didn't. And 49 percent of illegal drug users reported being happy with life, compared with 66 percent of those who didn't use drugs."

Why?

So what is happiness? Why do we crave it so much? And why is it so unattainable for some? I think people are too ready to blame others for unhappiness. Sure there are lots of things going on in all our lives that has the potential to make us unhappy, but only if we really let it. We need to take control of our own lives. We need to be responsible for our own emotions. We can do things that make us happy like listening to music, hanging out with friends, or watching a funny movie. Why do we let society dictate our feelings? Not everyone is happy, and the myth that everyone is does damage. Happiness should be a goal, not an expectation. After all, aren't these supposed to be the best years of our lives?